Giving myself a break….

It’s been a while!

I love what I do and I thought I had endless energy for it. Much to my horror, in the last 12 months, I found out that that isn’t exactly true.

I berated myself, told myself that I must have lost my mojo or I wasn’t trying hard enough – ever felt like that?

I was lucky enough be gifted a small break in those feelings, so I stood RIGHT back and thought logically about the whole situation. I took an outsiders view of my life and realised that even the ACTUAL BLOODY SUN doesn’t have enough energy to power our lives sometimes!

The last two years have been unequivocally difficult for you, for me and for everyone across the world – the last 2 weeks of terror have compounded that too. We all have our own ‘kittens’ to add to that complex and tangled bag of wool – a recipe for a big ball of messy feelings to come to grips with. You know when you try to untangle wool or a ball of string or the dreaded bloody fairy lights at Christmas? The energy it takes is immense and it often ends in failure!

Well, multiply that by about a billion and I bet that’s how you have been feeling.

As I say, I was lucky enough and dare I say, wise enough, to step back and look at life as a whole. Trying to get Dad into a care home, secondary school choices in a ‘complex’ family scenario (aka bloody awful situation), hormones going mental, partner being away, book being published, promotion in the day job, invite to the House of Lords, amazing find your flow weekends happening, collaboration with some amazing women and it was a whole knitting basket full of tangled emotions.

Some were absolutely amazing. Some were really f@%&ing hard.

……even though all that was going on, I was berating myself for not having enough energy. Actually telling myself I wasn’t doing enough to get things done or that I should have more motivation than this – Jesus wept, what was I thinking!?

I managed to sit down and really look at how much energy I spend on each of these things and how much I actually wanted to/can spend. This is something I do with people I coach all of the time – but for some reason it had been difficult to allow myself this time and focus.

But I did, and I realised that I hadn’t lost my mojo at all, I simply need to:

  • Be kinder to myself (no sh!t Sherlock!)
  • Work out what is in my control, what I can influence and most importantly what I can’t control
  • Decide on some small steps I can take in the areas I can control and influence
  • Try to lighten the load of things that I can’t control – the ‘everything else’ section below.

I literally drew the bad boy below out, added things to each section and then worked out the small steps I could take to manage things. I haven’t increased my energy, just understood and managed where I spend it. I feel like the wool is starting to get a little more organised and I have some energy for the things I love again 🙂 I don’t think losing mojo is really a thing….it’s just called life and it’s really tough sometimes.

Have a go if you are feeling like you have ‘lost your mojo’ and see what you find…

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